Silver Tiles

It's a second to second update with my status on this thing. Let's see where we're going with this... The fat girl across the way enjoys flashing lights at me, but I think I've gotten the hang of this game. It really is alot like a video game, like Willy Beamish like every other fucking video game I played for Sega CD. I question the immediacy of the diary entries but they're more or less my status logs in the creation and fulfillment of furthering things. Since i've gotten past the idea of pretending this isn't a show. It's really like that point where we have to take it as it is and further things because this is how it goes everytime. Attention furthering, I want to look over my last night and take into consideration what I did last night and that the show is basically based around me being an asshole and how successful I am at whatever it is that I do. Aside from that there's not alot else the show is about. Oh, the whole personality break down t

So, this is after the incident of having a spark of Jesus Christ Art Star and seeing how this helped to solidify my personality/create the current character. After a fantastic speech it's a matter of seeing how my writing patterns continue. So far not so bad. It's also a matter of seeing how those outside have oh, been placed in assembly outside today. The commentary with the camera is going decently, the anger lasts a decent amount of time. Aside from that it's a matter of dealing with, no, I say this every time. I spent a mass amount of time saying that. The T.V. show wahhh wahhhh wahhh. WTF am I going to do that for, it doesn't make any sense. Doesn't make it end. This one is really interesting, It's semi angry but not so much. I'm also learning how it is that the anti character effects me. Definitely does. Although less and less over a period of time, ironically this is much like a different version of my Rosicrucian teachings (what I'm doing now w/f

I'm in the middle of creating the perfect EQ for the 9th symphony. I'm finding my way out of this maze that they have me psychologically trapped in. I'm trying to figure out sexually what they attempted to do inside my mind. Either they're speaking true me or I had a revelation of sorts. It would seem in terms of psychology with they attempted to attack from the beginning was my sexuality. They then went from Christie up to Sarah Neufeld which would have been a huge ultimate, laying a girl in my favorite band. Serious deal. Since my art, my life, the reason to live comes from sexuality it's heavily likely they took this into account. It seems from there they went to attack anything from there. This would make sense. I'm just thinking of how they went about this, how it actually happened, finding my way back to reality. Attack Christie, attack Sarah Neufeld, turn them into the psychological enemies the nightmares of my existence. I haven't even gotten laid th

I'm still figuring out exactly how this works, I'm decently sure because of the status of my religion from the beginning I was supposed to use this to my advantage. That it was what I'd said to Hughes about the Einstein quote on the combination of religion and science being an essential that started this. Or perhaps the Char Cornell moment where I had said 'my life as a T.V. show would be a great fucking show' combined with the quote to Sarah Ritch after a night of watching Wonder Showzen where I'd said 'that's like the world inside my head. I feel like I just left home'. Some combination of that and my ability to stand through 2223A and suddenly to decide to stop talking that created this show. So in this instance, where you're watching me use meditation to attempt to control my brainwaves/looking over the focus factor compared to what they're using, I believe I'm bringing everything together. Part of the importance of this level of Silv

Looking back on Her Space Holiday, that was about expression and a deep emo like love of female, when did this become something that represented evil or some sort of greed? Why are symbols becoming engulfed by the nothingness or representing hate when they should be representing some form of love, expression and this openess? I see that happening from the fucking birds and the rising phoenix to Fairfield, looking over everything it feels like that's what was happening. Symbols were becoming symbols of hate, strength becoming weakness. It's wrong, it's fucked up and never what I intended for any of this. Something's going right in the fixing on Fairfield in my mind. So I'm going to address this with the fact that you're all watching this, they're obviously inside my mind I see what's happening but if they're going to fuck me over with this situation then they're going to. I'm not going to allow it to happen but these are incredibly powerful pe

I'm in a sorts of stream now. It's the situation I've been before and this is a sort of situation where I'm either going to get further or continue on the same pathway. You're watching this so you know more about where we're going with this than I do. I'm in need to continue the cash, I'm in implication that there is an end that there's a sort of pattern of faith in the end of this. So I continue walker, uh alright, but looking into the overall situation certain things are obvious about this show. Shit like the fact that they changed the refridgerator doors. Shit like being contacted. Small things like the three monkeys referencing back to my music videos, everybody shakes their heads and do this sort of thing. Alot of the times there so much references. References to Skittles references to Williamsburg references to everything. And you're watching all of this from the outside so either this is or isn't going to work out. I really need to ref

You've just watched the episode where I realize how they get me into soundloops in this show. I get sort of sidetracked on the way I'm writing this. They used to call this eclictic except on this show they fuck me up real bad on the matter. So it's coming along, I successfully accomplished a snypsis of the show. Now I can do my little quips. I need the camera battery for the d.v.x. it's important to me to simply has a voice of how I feel about things. Not the official way it happened but just a way where we look upon it, like looking back as a New Yorker and thinking into the future. Really thinking, when I look back at the amazing opportunity that I had with this show. Also how incredibly fucked up I was because of this show and everything I went through, all the layers of psyche they tore through and everything to get to this point. It's important to me to express for me. It's important to have some form of self love throughout this show, to at this point fulf

How dare these little fuckers attempt to take away my art school memories. How dare these little fucks attempt to take away my Fairfield memories. How dare any little fucker try to take away my soul. Unfortunately, or rather more for me and the strength of my ability to flip this trick and spin it; I'll never allow you to further this. There's a loop they like to play and it's getting old. Get the boy angry, then get him to childish react to the opposite of whatever it is the character is saying. THEN I DON'T LIKE THAT. Then feel bad about that. I remember what's important from my life. The importance of my art school friends, the flashback of friends in childhood, everything that essentially matters. I'm realizing the state of mind they're placing me in through these entries. I'm deciding to change this because being bitter about this thing at any point is essentially worthless. It doesn't end to any further of an extent if I decide to sit around

When did this become my catch phrase? I have to stand by my catch phrases, I always have to question my own terminology. It's a sort of wholeness I find in looking at the entirety of the situation I've come through. I've gone through the ripping apart of my psyche from Fairfield and on and then I put humpty dumpty back together again. I'm figured out ways to do it without giving complex names and diagrams because we've done that before, because I become worried where they're going to throw it in the plotline because I see the difference in the year I'm in and realize the amount of people who are watching my show. Lou Reed is watching my show. So are the S.V.A. kids and I take all of this into consideration and it sort of puts into perspective the insanity I'm in. I take into myself really who I'm talking to when I talk. From there, I take into consideration what matters and what doesn't. The rest are the scraps of the world, I couldn't give t

And now I only jerk off on Thursdays. What the fuck. I'm pondering the levels of my psyche and damage that's been done throughout this show. I'm taking into consideration now creating this blog in terms of art of the general overall project in reflection to humanity instead of hiding what's happening. I'm taking into consideration what's happened over the period of time this projects happened. I'm thinking about it further like 2 years. I'm thinking back to series zero because I really miss being a person. Being a person was great, being a human, being a something, having a religion; the safety of my mind, the place inside myself and the safety of my room. They get me to pause when this happens, they get to yell something and I pause, when the fuck did I start to reflect on this T.V. show in terms of responding to such popular catch phrases as "don't stall" and "please don't stall" amongst "bold move" and other popul

would I reach more characters in this show if I jump onto the homeless bandwagon? Will this be more fun than the current level of the TV show with lasers they hit cock and self. It's a Thursday evening and that's sacred for the night I'd hookup w/SVA hipster girls and alike @ Boogaloo. It's a friend pallet but now I'm just promoting Brock as DJ to get my club, it's reflective action trying to get something physical from the memories of my humanity when I reach that place again. Barack is supposedly running for president but I can't believe shit in this show they could have stolen that from my dreams. These people have magnets on my penis, let me share quite openly it hurts. My sanity if it existed is something of a version between madness and bitter quips. I look at everything and wonder WHY am I to ever again pretend this isn't a TV show? Why do freelance or anything the real wold requires? I could always street it. It's ubsurd. I want to return to

okay that title is ultimately a lack of effort. But it's representational of my new stance generally on everything. It's a reflection and I'd be most interested as an art school kid specifically living ithin my sacred building to see what I do when I stop playing the patsy pansy to a world I no longer have interest in sucking the dick of. What the fuck kind of crack did I smoke (and not get laid through) to live through this shit on auto-pilot? How dear they, anyone, create this cunt of a show without buying me a mario gun first. And that's a reference back to Decadent Diploma in a Hartford Empty room, that's a reference back to my own work available through amazon.com under k.maz. I'm being fucked up night and day by shit fucking lights and machines in the sequel to mannahatta. Fucking literally. Live and broadcasted through and around my mind. Fuck that shit and the voices of nothingness they attempt to consume; imagine The Neverending Story 2 meets the Wizard

There's a sideplot in this show, it's essentially called everything else that's going on. Pretty much, we have thevisualaxis or we don't. I have Skittles in Pfizer or I don't. I have Domino or I don't. When it comes down to it, that's really how things are going to be as far as matters go. Otherwise we're going to live through all of this daily. Which I'm learning to, creating a form of diamondship for myself. On the actuality of the television show there seems to be a function of attempting to break me down. Or rather, an attempt to fail my efforts to perfect myself. In the exterior, as a starfucker and as a person molded by the circumstances I exist in. So, I ultimately have to take consideration of this and deal with things really holding onto self pride. Because people are asking me the stupidest fucking questions, saying the most absurd things at all times and hitting me with lasers always. This is everywhere, and they're also hitting me wit

It's more or less apparent the interest in the T.V. show is what's in my mind. Still, the exterior creation is fantastic. So now we're having these daily episodes of being on the show and doing simple tasks like fucking reading and watching how the character affects me. It's fantastic, I'm having more fun than ever. We still have to get the corporation together though so I have to summon everyone tonight. Not quite sure about the matter of how the factories go exterior from the Truman Art School bubble. Since you're watching this, let's more so comment now on the situation of being in the show over the situation of what's happening: It's getting better and better. I stop pretending that I'm not in a show so they stop pretending that it's not, more and more it becomes obvious. What's the fun in producing a show with someone like me if I'm not willing to play with the audience. We're having alot of fun. I'm decently insane and i

things are coming along with the meditations. What a tucked situation, living on a show where lights are set up to toy with you. This is the situation, figuring out how to express while preparing for the antagonist character attacking. Crystal meditation next. All the elements that were manipulated away from me in the beginning of the show. It comes down to immunity in spiritual function. You're going to see me fuck up and succeed. It's a tucked up insane show involving so many layers of reality that I seemingly have to touch them all before it ends. Most certainly my favorite season. This shits turning into running levels on a treadmill but you can see this as well.

So you're all watching this, and for some reason it's always like a way of my stating a reflection on the matter. Like overlooking the situation, I think about the fact that it's happening in real time. So, do I just go with it and comment instead of speeching like I did in 725 or do I give a little reflection over the events that are transpiring, a poetic entering of the wind blowing beautifully on the black sheets that look like the sheets that were very boyish in my original apartment. So bhob's offering me an safehaven from the producers to learn of the script of my life. Essentially he's acknowledging that I'm on the show and it's one of those direct gameshow ending things ~ except he's actually acknowledging that i'm on the show. So... is this the end of the show? Still, much like the previous inhabitance Caitlin coke heart crush, I am hesitant to believe that the show ends so easily. I am hesitant to believe it ends in general. And yet, it see

As you've just recently witnessed, I've changed the picture on my iphone from that of the black bug from the previous inhabitant of this body's placement in his caitlin love to my current take on the matter of forwarding the situation. Thus, it's a certain reflection in period, an incredibly big moment for the world and the television show. It's a moment of self love and self reflection. As opposed to the previous inhabitant. I believe something went wrong in his taking of allowing others to control the show. In a previous era of the show when I'd inhabited this body, I'd found the same situation with worrying how I'll be effected via speaking aloud, sharing my opinions, it's the most absurd thing. Especially for a writer, especially for a writer from Fairfield. I cannot doubt this. This is a strange situation when a remote falls. Yes, you are watching the television program on T.V. that's fantastic and i'm really proud of you. That's so

I am in the strangest position a man could possibly be in. The girl across from me sends awful flashes of holographic waves at me. I'm assuming they're to hurt me, whenever she looks up at me, there's something disturbing going on. Something awful, something that flashes some sort of awful hologram at me. It's surely not helpful. I recall the people from my high school having a higher sense of beauty. I went to school with very attractive people. Being around pleasurable things and beautiful women is fantastic. Essential. There is something ill about being around someone who is waiting for you to have a nervous breakdown and attempting to contribute to the matter through whatever it is that these people to do try and freak me out and break me down. Much thanks to the flashbacks of Sarah Camp and people from high school, as weird as this shit sounds it's somehow working out for me. I have no idea how this works and am hesitant to explain it, how it goes in my mind, b

Holy shit we're going to have a black president. Barack got the presidency for the D.N.C. and these people have been pumping my subconcious with fucked up awful shit for the last year. Like if I took sleeping pills I could hear the shit that they put into my mind, shit like 'the french way of life was changed forever in 1994'. Like they're putting all sorts of creepy shit into my head forever. I just woke up and I've realized that Barack got the presidency. And the year is 2008. I like him, I just had to comment on the situation of what's happening for me on the inside incase you're wondering. What you see on the outside, like who I become and what person I am to complete the mission is actually happening. I'm not bullshitting you, I'm at times amazed. Freaking out. Saying wtf. And on that note I've got it together and I'm happy he got the presidency. Too bad Joe Biden isn't a dude with a little beard. O.K. that's all I have to say ab

This is sort of a big moment. You're watching this worldwide. So we won't be getting into SVA this semester. I'm suddenly struck with a new sense of self love, ultimately it's always been for myself. Far too much has been stolen throughout this show including the Fairfield project. Far too much was built on kindness and heart. Far too much has been secretly created by the person who formerly inhabited this body and I simply don't understand his morality or whatever it is these people keep saying to me. I recall who I am, before this began and where I'm going. I understand the fact of lacking any comprehension of what they're talking about. I don't understand their words of appreciation, all I truly appreciate is my city. All I truly comprehend is moments walking alone in New York. All I comprehend now is the need to finish what he started. There are several pieces to use, however it must be done. Too much was taken away from me in the time before I took