Base Chakra

There's someting awful on my base chakra. It's something physical, in some form of a lump that either has been created through this awful machine that transmits thoughts into me or fucking implanted. This thing is all for real, I meditate and go in there and find it and have to actually take it out. And it starts to work and starts to help but then I have to continue. I have to do a great deal of work to save my life, my soul my existence. Mind/Body/Soul; the three keys to keep you going. The three keys to your existence. My keys to the future. To saving my life. To saving everything. Williamsburg, my heart, my soul, my body. My art, my dreams, everything.

From the start, the thing, the Hallerina has been draining me down, hitting me with lasers and finding ways to shut me down.
Getting me to be fucked over.
Let me assure you reading this, everything I told you on this T.V. show from the stuff about mentality to creating realms all of this stuff is true. I protected myself from the start and it's saved my life. Never trust anyone who enters your head, set up a default trap, hide your soul, protect yourself in esoteric ways. Never allow yourself to be taken by any creature that attempts to enter your mind, why the fuck would you trust that? No matter who says what it is? Hi, I'm sara. I'm Vanessa. Protect yourself.

Now that I'm using my ability, I'm taking account of the damage done. I'm taking account of what I see inside my mind. I'm taking account of the fact that I live in this show with lasers fucking with me as I attempt to create art, to absorb media while this whole time the media I've been trying to absorb has been blocked with lasers. I haven't watched T.V. without subconscious alterings for a great while. Hughes/others are on the other end assisting me. I'm building realms and links to the Williamsburg bridge in my mind for others. I'm creating keys for only us. Astral Realms in an ancient landmark to call home.
Walking on the street, I build characters, I create worlds, I build off of memories and use some form of chaos magic, half demon half angel, heart and link to god. The evil stuff is never good, never use pure evil without a form of protection thus a medallion with angelic script or other itemry.
This is what I'm doing daily. I'm living in Williamsburg living in the world of Silver Tiles.
I'm playing the video game of keeping concentration against lights that are so obvious it's pretty much a game show at this point. I'm attempting to create the greatest film/music video/book any creature can under these forms of reality depravation. I'm trying to push for the trine, for my club, for the williamsburg arts district/domino. The mayor has to take this into account, the amount of effort I went through for this, the suffering made and attempts made on the outside by my friends to show how valiant we can create and perform the actual reality of these plans. I'm more like the spokesperson, the representation of madness using abilities to get a plan popular. Unaware of what's the status on the outside world, instead living inside my perception of the world which is really Hughes designed (or whomever sir producer is). It's huge.

We're involving masons.Rosicrucians.Illumanati.Most powerful people in the world. There's no reason through all of this we won't get what we want, the trine. Why wouldn't we? The world controllers are supposed to become kind, save Africa and give to the next generation the keys to start our own future. This is the reason for the indigo warrior. This is the prophecy of Kryon (who Jean Carroll translates for every year at the United Nations). This is all taken very seriously, and I believe in it.
I believe my friends are indigo children as well. Perhaps warriors if they relate to it.
Maybe I'm just center field for being 1984. Under my birthday. It's why I believed in it all to start with. 3/Rat/Aries. It's what confined my belief in astrology and esoterica. That even in the astrology sexuality book, the description of the aries male (may have been Aries rat; Erica had the book) describes me proper.
This is how my ability began, the journey to what created our Silver Tiles today. Opening the door to the revelation that in the realm of indigo children I am not alone.
Now we congregate in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. For the energy music brings to us + synergy in kinship. Family in friends. Bonds in art. And i'm trying to make this movie, with this religion to capitalize why. Why it matters, why the religion matters why hipsters matter why that word means anything. It does. And the indigo children/crystaline really fucking bring it together.
The fact that I found that means I'm not alone. And now I've told a million others what I know. And now you watch me on television change the world, alter the grid and suffer the result of not following my own religion.
Each time/any time I fail to acknowledge this as a show I go backwards.
Anytime I fail to use my religion/my abilities down to my medicine becoming a portion of this religion - i go backwards.
It's these personal items that I have to stand for. Never be discouraged, never doubt myself even when I'm hit with the craziest fucking shit ever. The craziest fucking lasers and sound wave shit ever.
Do not fall backwards, if others can see your thoughts put on a show.
The enemy is the never ending story's nothingness. The lack of creation. The lack of forward movement.
The ending becomes to name the princess.
The forwarding becomes the creation of wishes. But you don't have to loose memories for it.
I change my past, recreate timelines, alter my youth as I see fit. Taking out that which I didn't like, submerging timelines.
I've even taken from the person who was in this body prior. From chris mastronardi. I've taken from his life, I've taken from his world. I've created from the created from the created.
And now you watch me, on television, evolve as I trust in myself. Look, even this writing has further from the prior.
And then, the next step. I just have to follow my own vision. Clearly I've been right so far, that realizing I'm on television and using it to my advantage; the fact that because I'm on television I shouldn't treat it as reality is simple fact enough; fact that my madness in effort, that in instinct (which one must always trust most and foremost) I must create, I must make up for lost time, that my biggest mistake was sleeping. The prolonger of this show. I've been right so far. This moment proves it.
Even as this laser of whatever it is from the guy across the way (sometimes holographic images that look like the green splatter world of the alien guy in Area 51 arcade game) I'm still typing. Creating. My energy is better. It's lasting longer.
It feels different.
They subdue me with women, the girls I've loved/fucked/haven't but wanted to.
It's my keys, my elements of matter, my heart, my libido, my soul that they attempt to turn inside out.
It works to take things away from me, a disgusting entity which would say 'hanky-panky' on my bed. Even masturbation it attempts to turn against me. I have to free the psychological means onto the timeline as it were, while still holding a seperate world as it should have been. Restoring now what was, everything is askewed but it seems like it was like that for a long time. It (the creature that controls Hallerina) seems to bring back past images of selves, something happened in the opening of sky and I may have done this, opened the timescape. Something I've learned to protect myself from. But they appear as younger versions of themselves. In this same means, I have the ability to restore Vanessa as an art school girl to defend against Hallerina's Dr. Robtonik. As absurd as that reference is to the videogame it's actually quite serious. What's happening is quite disgusting and it's going too far. It's too obvious, the villain of sorts who comes to attack the revolution via taking out his son at age 24. Who he attempted to destroy before and somehow turned into a revolution.
To try and associate carmen's ex with any women i've ever fucked is far too fucked up to conclude anything but this the god of hallerina. It's the same creature that placed this ass fucking machine, this kondalini base attacker.
It's the same thing that tries to hide my memories from me. Which I free.
All of the spirituality is a reality. It's foolish to hide it. It's a frightening creature. It wants to take away my soul, my life, the future of others. This is the basis of Hallerina. To steal away my life bit by bit. It wants to steal my Fairfield childhood, anything that exists in my soul. It's gone through every girl I've ever wanted. Then it's attacked my friends. Then it attacked my home. Then it attacked my way of life. Then it attacked my dreams. It won't give up it wants me dead goddamn this voice inside my head.

In order of attack:

Attack my sexuality's advancement through attacking my spirituality attack my spirituality visavis attack my past attack my art through attaack my spirituality attack my music through attack my spirituality and sexuality attack my prior sexuality by attack the first girl I fucked attack my heart through attack music+school+identity past and present. Attack will to live through attack body/heart/soul/association with reality. Attack reality. Except then you realize that hiding and assuming it would go away was the worst thing you could have ever done. Something clicks and you realize death is better than giving up. Something clicks and puts everything together, and you decide you want the fucking club and the district and it's gone too far to stand down to something that prys at your very soul; despite anything beyond anything you want the creation of everything you've suffered for. It is your soul, any the existence of this body reflect your lack of self work which allowed you to deflate into nothing near a suicide before tabitha appeared with keys to a future. then Dillion betrayed you by attempting to cut off your freedom/girls/too interested in your shit. (The Gold Coast). And this leads to the government after the first stand against vanessa. but vanessa was not the problem in current timeline. So vanessa is restored via her good in green book over red book failure and the period of time Halerina spent building her up as an anti character redeems her further in 'crazy smashing pumpkins girl' which redeems her and keeps true to your heart of art school girls (and the reason you liked her in the beginning/art school) uriel's death is freed through the death of mia which is DIRECTLY murdered by Hallerina's owner carmen's husband thus uriel's death becomes mia's murder and furthers the fostering of time/reality for the disgust of failure in the show. This sparks sometthing in art heart and the use of art star (the multi talented artistic acting character energy fascination that mia had started. but like a burning fire in the sky) and when you'd gone there you saw something go wrong.
When you attempted to restore fairfield he came in. This man, this creature, this Hallerina overlord and he attempted to prevent you from restoring fairfield after overlooking the 'when real things happen to imaginary people'. Because something went wrong, something went too evil too bitter some breen part of you was lost, as though you were forced to spit on your own existence, something needed to be restored that he didn't want you to.
And so that's the key. And that's where we stand in astral realms. And that's where it's interesting that the same Hallerina overlord mentioned a face in a lake that he wished to erase. Similar to the situation of him wishing to erase memories of the true past. Including his own interest in the spiritual arts. Estoerica and a fascination for the darkside.

And that's where we stand presently. I haven't typed this much consistently in a long fucking time. And that's incredibly sad because that's what i do as a writer. And as a filmmaker I film. And this thing wants to eat me away. And that's why were at this current period of time, somewhere in the most absurd way during the year I should and planned never to sleep I slept more than I've ever slept in my life. I failed to defend my home that I got on my 23rd birthday. I failed to create the great series of art I'd planned to. And my only true ability was in acting, the very quality fairfield gave me by default trait. By the instinct of reaction that comes deep down when one has to spring back to life. And it allowed me to share a culture of self, and incidentally somehow find everyone out there who likes the same shit. So now everyone likes what I like and it's created something of a culture, a circle of friends. "Kurt Cobain" of now. Yes? Truman Art Star lives in the bubble. He can only presume the outside.
But I've said everything I truly feel and gotten to everything I need to say.
Like I'm coming full circle. And it's making sense again. Starting with the religion I denied. I'm seeing a pattern in previously not using my abilities, my powers, my fucking god given gifts; loosing myself for worry in a time I never should have on a show that gives me the excuse to do anything when in the first place I didn't give a fuck. I just wanted to be me, before it all got twisted.
Now it's twisted, it's somehow working in oddity of reality and it's binding the breen and the monicans together. And I'm looking at things like in Tastey Moursels. Like in that world. Like the early years. And it all makes sense.
And this has binded Williamsburg to Fairfield and brought the entirety together, even restoring astral realms that were stolen in Fairfield (which is really personally for Fairfield but will make the astral strength of the place stronger. Tree spirits and sprites).
Looking back, these were never my enemies this was never my deal. I just wanted the chrome steal and tribute to mankind's mass effort to create that is Manhattan. This is before/during Mannahatta. As said at the end of Mannahatta, I was to move to Brooklyn and it'd all end then. A revolution started through this. Via Williamsburg via libido via the very thing Hallerina tried to destroy. And now I'm feeling closer to accomplishment and closer through the creation of the film I must, and it's through NOT sleeping. So I generate astral energy and I'm starting to use the astral tools that were placed before me. And I'm restoring astral realms that i'd hidden/using my soul instead of hiding it.
I'm adding new layers to the realms of Silver Tiles for all of us. For the future Indigo Children who come. For the Crystaline.
Interestingly enough, I'd always felt they should have made a GOOD movie a real movie on the indigo children. Because in all fucking reality, the one I saw was sooo bad. They could have created so much.
This inspired so much. All of my art is the creation of the astral. All of my art is the creation of new energy.
Forwarding who I am. And thus forwarding my place in N.Y.C. 'The future's uncertain and the end is always near'
Long live the Conversian Elite, god thats fucking cheesy with the spaceage music I've got going. So more-so, may the elite snobby girls next door run galleries and stay pretentious for a reason. Thus is the reason I pick them for music videos. The beauty of the muse over the regularity. Snobbery over agreeability protects the artistic realm of true taste.
Otherwise, everything becomes art and that can't be true.
That's called pop 80s. That's called not having a soul.
And so that's where we're @ upon today's sunrise over Williamsburg.
We're creating a new world and I feel greatly pleased on how this is going.

<3
Skylar

Comments

forecastmazy said…
Woah did i write alot cobcerta day kevin snith please my mastronardi italin relatives..

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