3 layers of reality
I've decided to take into consideration how the show is and exists and to create something beyond simply this blog.
This is the process of how the show works when we first started this show @ 725 9th Avenue #3d. This is back when I assumed the show was based off my 23rd birthday. You see, looking at how the show works, it's essential to have a certain amount of exactified control. I believe the show was set up to help me further my career by finding a way to accomplish everything I want, it happened my thesis year so I'd have to take this into consideration. Either that or I was naturally finding a method of precision in creation that I never got down, perhaps because I gave up or perhaps because I lost my psychological status as a Fairfield kid; allowed this to be manipulated, torn down and somehow Brooklyn/Williamsburg turned into some strange war over this.
Getting beyond all of this, I'll do the following items to help this method:
Mind/Body/Soul
Layer 1 - Silver Tiles:
This is the actuality of what's going on. Myswell have some version of my psychological state taken into a record. I still do not believe it is possible to fully be myself under these circumstances. Despite the oddity of everything I've told you, it's all true. I know saying this that you're watching it on T.V. But it's important to me that I have this layer put together. This has always been the theme of the show and I'm willing to personally override what the show was meant to be or what Silver Tiles may have meant as opposed to what it meant in my heart.
Layer 2 - Characterization (Wiccan turned Essenic)
This is a reference to what I refer to as the crystal meditation manipulation in Series 1, during which time I was embaressed or afraid of being persecuted for my religion. Thus, I reversed my opinions and pretended I did everything to impress a female, either via knowing she was watching me within the dorms or via having essenic knowledge. Thus, I created a journal and pretended I was going to sell all of my crystals on ebay as some sort of Republican childish effort to create a business sensible appearance ala - "I would never do such a crazy thing as stare at a crystal for spirituality. Who thinks something that was harnassed from the earth for millions of years might just have the ability to change your retina or create something within psychological that we call spiritual?"
Layer 3 - The Visual Axis
This is the vlog that's always been my vlog. In modern incarnation of the show, it has also extended into a symbolic representation of what I've been trying to push as an artists commune for the Domino Refinery. It is a portion of my 3 point plan for Williamsburg. [Much of this is done through characters, through my own explanation of everything, through the constancy of whoever is watching this, really mayor Bloomberg is my biggest hopes.]
Anyhow, this vlog has also been my modern exterior explanation of everything. It's also a interlaced plot point for Kade and my films/novels.
Now let's put all of this together. I; have always been Kade. To much of an extent, I am worried at this point as I continue how they're attempting to fuck me up here. This happens as a matter of concentration. Putting everything together, I have used Kade throughout this show to further myself, create characters and live this sci-fi version of everything.
I place this into the content of my Williamsburg, Quadraphenia. It's an incredibly complex charaacter but you see Kade was always the author of the green/blue/red series. Thus, I've lived through this with this character as actualization.
Before all of this, in the reality of who I am, I've never actually believed that I had several personalities or were different people. I'm not essentially a crazy person to any extent, just a kid with a huge goal and a great dream that started early realizing that both to gain attention you'd need to start ahead of time. But in this show, they seperated me somehow as two characters. Perhaps it was someone who read my work. Perhaps not. Mike/Kade two of my characters published online.
Anyhow, from the previous night and taking into consideration what I allowed to happen in Series 1, I'm going to use this diary as it is and then further my other artistic endeavors in the other journal/diary.
It feels as though from last night that the characters or whatever, who knows, maybe the producers are trying to confuse me. At times it's rather difficult to deal with all of this and the fact that I cannot actually be myself is unfortunate, but I will effort myself into such a thing. If there is such a thing as myself, it'll be Skylar.
What I said prior still stands of age 22 and June 16, 2007. That his is when the show started.
And I've taken into consideration everything that is, everything about the series zero. Everything.
But to allow my voice to be choke, to react constantly to the producers or characters and to pretend anything but the fact that they're characters is insanity. This is not a sane situation that I'm in but I have to retain some form of semibalance in this.
That is what last night taught me. Because I care about what girls think. Specifically hipster/fairfield girls. I care about what boys think because I need my people, from art school kids/seancon filmmaking to the general support of the male population in Fairfield for the creation of my films in the future when all of this is done. I refuse to allow my Fairfield series to be destroyed.
All of this taken into consideration, I'm starting to look at myself from the outside and use the show for something other than bitching about this being a T.V. show while interacting with the people on the outside.
I'm finding a method to deal with this as though it was going to go on for life, when at the same time, I really don't want this to go on for life. However, running around bitching about it clearly will not end it. That didn't work in series 1 why would it work now? Nevertheless, I must state ahead of time, I wish to return to the real New York City asap.
I miss sanity and the world without this happening to me.
Going from there, I'm going to go past the point of ever pretending I don't live on this show.
It's absurd.
<3
Skylar
This is the process of how the show works when we first started this show @ 725 9th Avenue #3d. This is back when I assumed the show was based off my 23rd birthday. You see, looking at how the show works, it's essential to have a certain amount of exactified control. I believe the show was set up to help me further my career by finding a way to accomplish everything I want, it happened my thesis year so I'd have to take this into consideration. Either that or I was naturally finding a method of precision in creation that I never got down, perhaps because I gave up or perhaps because I lost my psychological status as a Fairfield kid; allowed this to be manipulated, torn down and somehow Brooklyn/Williamsburg turned into some strange war over this.
Getting beyond all of this, I'll do the following items to help this method:
Mind/Body/Soul
Layer 1 - Silver Tiles:
This is the actuality of what's going on. Myswell have some version of my psychological state taken into a record. I still do not believe it is possible to fully be myself under these circumstances. Despite the oddity of everything I've told you, it's all true. I know saying this that you're watching it on T.V. But it's important to me that I have this layer put together. This has always been the theme of the show and I'm willing to personally override what the show was meant to be or what Silver Tiles may have meant as opposed to what it meant in my heart.
Layer 2 - Characterization (Wiccan turned Essenic)
This is a reference to what I refer to as the crystal meditation manipulation in Series 1, during which time I was embaressed or afraid of being persecuted for my religion. Thus, I reversed my opinions and pretended I did everything to impress a female, either via knowing she was watching me within the dorms or via having essenic knowledge. Thus, I created a journal and pretended I was going to sell all of my crystals on ebay as some sort of Republican childish effort to create a business sensible appearance ala - "I would never do such a crazy thing as stare at a crystal for spirituality. Who thinks something that was harnassed from the earth for millions of years might just have the ability to change your retina or create something within psychological that we call spiritual?"
Layer 3 - The Visual Axis
This is the vlog that's always been my vlog. In modern incarnation of the show, it has also extended into a symbolic representation of what I've been trying to push as an artists commune for the Domino Refinery. It is a portion of my 3 point plan for Williamsburg. [Much of this is done through characters, through my own explanation of everything, through the constancy of whoever is watching this, really mayor Bloomberg is my biggest hopes.]
Anyhow, this vlog has also been my modern exterior explanation of everything. It's also a interlaced plot point for Kade and my films/novels.
Now let's put all of this together. I; have always been Kade. To much of an extent, I am worried at this point as I continue how they're attempting to fuck me up here. This happens as a matter of concentration. Putting everything together, I have used Kade throughout this show to further myself, create characters and live this sci-fi version of everything.
I place this into the content of my Williamsburg, Quadraphenia. It's an incredibly complex charaacter but you see Kade was always the author of the green/blue/red series. Thus, I've lived through this with this character as actualization.
Before all of this, in the reality of who I am, I've never actually believed that I had several personalities or were different people. I'm not essentially a crazy person to any extent, just a kid with a huge goal and a great dream that started early realizing that both to gain attention you'd need to start ahead of time. But in this show, they seperated me somehow as two characters. Perhaps it was someone who read my work. Perhaps not. Mike/Kade two of my characters published online.
Anyhow, from the previous night and taking into consideration what I allowed to happen in Series 1, I'm going to use this diary as it is and then further my other artistic endeavors in the other journal/diary.
It feels as though from last night that the characters or whatever, who knows, maybe the producers are trying to confuse me. At times it's rather difficult to deal with all of this and the fact that I cannot actually be myself is unfortunate, but I will effort myself into such a thing. If there is such a thing as myself, it'll be Skylar.
What I said prior still stands of age 22 and June 16, 2007. That his is when the show started.
And I've taken into consideration everything that is, everything about the series zero. Everything.
But to allow my voice to be choke, to react constantly to the producers or characters and to pretend anything but the fact that they're characters is insanity. This is not a sane situation that I'm in but I have to retain some form of semibalance in this.
That is what last night taught me. Because I care about what girls think. Specifically hipster/fairfield girls. I care about what boys think because I need my people, from art school kids/seancon filmmaking to the general support of the male population in Fairfield for the creation of my films in the future when all of this is done. I refuse to allow my Fairfield series to be destroyed.
All of this taken into consideration, I'm starting to look at myself from the outside and use the show for something other than bitching about this being a T.V. show while interacting with the people on the outside.
I'm finding a method to deal with this as though it was going to go on for life, when at the same time, I really don't want this to go on for life. However, running around bitching about it clearly will not end it. That didn't work in series 1 why would it work now? Nevertheless, I must state ahead of time, I wish to return to the real New York City asap.
I miss sanity and the world without this happening to me.
Going from there, I'm going to go past the point of ever pretending I don't live on this show.
It's absurd.
<3
Skylar
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